This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
