You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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