my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
don't judge my taste in strippers
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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