He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize