Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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