He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
