omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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