So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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