He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
