Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You smell like stripper and shame
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
