oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
