Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
