is your mom at the bar?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So many bounce houses so little time
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
