Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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