as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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