if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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