Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
