seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
