Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
