omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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