If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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