I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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