Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
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He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
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Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Being responsible doesn't make memories.