I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize