he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
