He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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