Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
