We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
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okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
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We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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