It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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