i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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