So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
