forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
now i know why i became what i already was.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
