I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
