I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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