he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize