Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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