We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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