I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
