Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
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