Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
