And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize