id be glad to
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
