We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
