Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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