i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
