hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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