I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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