The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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