Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I will be naked everywhere
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
