Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Alive.
So much puke
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
