You were right. It hurts to walk today.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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