no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
