From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
