what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
