If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think my moral compass just broke
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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