yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You made out with two different species that night
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
