oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
