shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
