I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
