my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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